An ode to the nice guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

 

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

 

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

 

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do. But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

 

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, insane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

 

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal by Fu-Zu Jen.

Ouch - It Hurts ...

There are times when we take so much effort and precaution in doing something perfectly right. We prepare, plan and try to ensure that even in worst case scenarios our plan will work out. And finally during execution it fails – it’s not that the execution was sloppy but it’s just that something went wrong. It might be securing an admission to a college, maybe a proposal that went wrong or maybe even something as simple as planning a journey. When you look at all the effort that went into the task you wonder, “What did I do wrong to deserve this?”

And more often than not others will not know your effort. They would only see the result and the result was that you failed – when something turns out unfavorable who cares what method you tried, who cares whether you painstakingly planned or just tried to get the result through short cuts. They say that the means used to achieve a result is just as important as the result itself but you do wonder if that is true!

Take the case of Sachin Tendulkar – I have been reading about him quite a lot and there have been many instances where he does the bulk of the scoring but unfortunately for him, he ends up on the losing side. And people immediately start pointing fingers at him saying, “He isn’t capable of finishing the match. He should have won it for the team”. Oh come on, the guy has scored more than 50% of the totals runs; do you expect him to score all the runs?

So for those of you who have gone through the pain of having painstakingly planned, failed and then criticized…take heart – you aren’t alone.

Picture this - Sachin Tendulkar

When Sachin Tendulkar travelled to Pakistan to face one of the finest bowling attacks ever assembled in the history of cricket, Michael Schumacher was yet to race a F1 car, Lance Armstrong had never been to the Tour de France, Diego Maradona was still the captain of a world champion Argentina team, Pete Sampras had never won a Grand Slam. When Tendulkar embarked on a glorious career taming Imran and company, Roger Federer was a name unheard of, Lionel Messi was in his nappies, Usain Bolt was an unknown kid in the Jamaican backwaters, Cristiano Ronaldo was still to try his skills on football. The Berlin Wall was still intact, USSR was one big, big country, Dr Manmohan Singh was yet to "open" the Nehruvian economy, Barack Obama was a name no one heard of.

It seems while Father Time was having his toll on every individual on the face of this planet, he excused one man. Time stands frozen in front of Sachin Tendulkar.

We have had champions, we have had legends, but we have never had a Sachin Tendulkar and we never will.

PS: This article has been taken from a newspaper.

I owe my deepest respect to the God for having a glorious and unbeatable innings of 20 years in the history of cricket.

The MNS fiasco ...

Before writing this blog, let me first tell you guys that I did not vote MNS in this assembly elections. And I quite a lot regret my decision now. :-P

As most of you know what happened this Monday in the Maharashtra Assembly. Samajwadi Party’s leader Abu Asim Azmi was slapped by the MNS MLA’s due to which 4 MNS MLA’s (Shishir Shinde from Bhandup West; Ram Kadam from Ghatkopar West; Vasant Gite from Nashik Central; and Ramesh Vanzale from Kahdakvasla) have been suspended for four years. The MNS remains unrepentant over this, satisfied that the violent politics of chauvinism has planted the party in the news again. Though the deed was wrong, it was interesting for the onlookers. TRP increased for sure during the screenplay of this incident.

For ages we (common man) were unaware what actually happened inside the walls of the legistative assembly. I know we have read about passing bills and all that ‘civic’ stuff, but I think we hardly understood it. Bill passing was all rubbish and the MNS gave us a clearer picture of what actually happens in the LA. One person says something(? anything) and that gets opposed by the members of the opposition. This is what actually goes on over there :P

It was surely a breach of the assembly conduct, disrespect towards the constitution (as said by someone) and blah blah blah. But aren’t there tonnes of incidents going on around the entire country which does all this? But who cares! The junta doesn’t care unless and until it happens to them. So this is taken as a matter of sheer entertainment by people like us for whom it doesn’t really matter if Abu Azmi gets slapped or not. Though Thackeray intimated all the MLAs to take the oath in Marathi and if the oncoming danger was sensed, it would have been better that he took an oath in Marathi. At least that could have saved him of one tight slap :P

All in all it was an awesome incident which took the entire nation to a stroll and made a breaking headline. It also formulated the matter of discussion for youngsters and who-the-f**k-care people like us in the trains, offices and over the phones. Cyber traffic saw an upward trend when news and videos were streamlined by people online. All in all it was a win-win situation for all. Abu Azmi lost only some respect when he was slapped, which was regained in position by his own party members praising him for taking an oath in Hindi. MNS got the whole attention for standing true to its image and the junta got the much needed daily feed of something spicy which they could talk about in their leisure time.

Right or wrong, I think it deserved to be a topic of a blog in this space for sure :-)

Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms.

Then I saw a cottonmouth snake with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels (whisky) and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Sometimes ....

Sometimes hurt is needed to make you grow,
Failure is needed to make you know,
Loss is needed to make you gain,
Because some lessons are best when learned through pain.

When did ‘crime prevention’ became a crime?

In October 2007, Al Gore accepted the Nobel Prize for Peace with the words "I can't understand why there aren't rings of young people blocking bulldozers and preventing them from constructing coal-fired power plants."

At precisely the same moment, six Greenpeace activists broke into a highly-secure coal-power plant in Kolaghat. They made their way straight to one of the station's six chimneys and started climbing. At 260 feet, they stopped, secured themselves, and swung over the edge of the tower. The only thing keeping them secure was a 9mm rope, years of training, and a heartbreaking love for the planet.
Suspended high above a vast toxic wasteland of coal – the dirtiest fuel known to humankind – they opened their backpacks. Out came 5 liters of black paint. And two industrial-grade paintbrushes. Then, in ten-foot-high letters on the side of the tower, they started painting a damning message against climate change.
Even in the early-morning breeze, the air was thick with coal soot. Every breath made one want to vomit. A dead hawk lay on the parapet. It was impossible to talk too. They couldn't hear themselves over the wind blowing in from the Bay of Bengal. And the coal-power plant was noisier than a rock concert just before the end of the world. Deaf and out of breath, their biggest fear wasn't falling to their deaths. Their biggest fear was making a spelling mistake. But the message they left there (without any spelling mistakes) should be a Statutory Warning on every single chimney of every single coal-power plant in this country and on this planet: SMOKING KILLS!
Their work done, they climbed down. And for alerting our nation to the causes and perils of climate change, the six activists – one of them six weeks pregnant at the time – were arrested and thrown into jail. Nearly two years later, the unbelievable charges against them (ranging from trespass to terrorism) are yet to be dropped. Their case, unreported by the media, drags on in court.

Meanwhile, climate change continues unchecked. The monsoon has failed. Nearly half of the country's 626 districts are paralyzed by drought. As a result, India is facing inflation and is forced to import food. In spite of all this, our government doesn't seem to be waking up to climate change. Instead of building less coal-power plants, we're building more of them. This is shameful. This is stupid. And this has to stop.
What will it take? It will take more than six Greenpeace activsts willing to go to jail. It will take more than you and me. It will take a HUGE number of people like us, every one of them joining the long war against climate change.

-- A post from GreenPeace to save the earth.

Michael Jackson's This Is It!

Last weekend I had my glorious chance to watch 'Michael Jackson's This Is It'. And believe me it was more than a thrilling experience. With people all around me clad in Michael Jackson t-shirts and some even in complete MJ attire, it was a treat to my experience.

It all began with the high volume strumming of the dancers and the guitarists. 12 world class dancers were selected from thousands of them personally by MJ. It was only one time saying and they could pick up what MJ intended to say. Orianthi Panagaris was the lead guitarist and Thomas Organ as the rhythm guitarist. I was dumbstruck when I saw Orianthi strum her guitar more ferociously than I have ever seen. I always liked Slash for beating it harder and now I saw this girl, who studded with her blonde hair all over her face surely took off the audience off their seats. It was spellbound to see Jonathan Moffet – the drummer to tune into some of the world famous MJ tracks. With one song performed on stage with the American singer Judith Hill and the rest with either single or with the dancers on stage - it was worth an experience. Kenny Ortega has made his lifetime best piece of work by directing 'This Is It'. His masterpiece was truly visible in every scene.

MJ was the hero. He IS the hero. The mere presence of MJ in a scene or on the stage could swirl in millions of fans and freeze all the audience. Such is his audacity. Only seeing him perform on screen was such an awesome experience, I just imagined what would have happened if we saw him perform live on stage. I would certainly have needed breath shots coz by every means. He would have swooped all of his audience. It was a memento of all his videos, news, his movie stills and his entire pop personality.

MJ was always irenic when he conceptualized his videos. May be it 'The Earth Song' or 'Heal the World'. No other man has been ever titled as the king of any kind of music. So the title 'King of Pop' itself exemplifies his greatness. 'This is It' was to be played in the O2 arena in London for 50 days, most of which tickets were already sold. It was going to be a huge event for any rock-star. It would have earned Michael few billions of pounds (the first 10 dates alone would have earned him approximately £50 million). The concept of "This Is It' was that MJ was enthralled by his audience and their love towards him for all these years. And this was his final curtain call for all his fans. Maybe he knew that something unsure and uncertain was beholding him at that time. He wanted to warn his zillions of fans that this was the last and the least he could have done for them. He was noted to be very genuine and humble on the production sets. Not even the slightest of red muscle was seen during the shooting and rehearsals.

Inspite of number of controversies that got him involved he retained his popularities among his fans. His India was tour was something to cherish for lifetimes. His energy was seen to be a little bit drooling but certainly it was something that caught my eye that at an age of 50 years he kept himself in sync with his other dancers who were very young compared to him. He always conflated the other stars. He believed in unity. He also popularized a number of physically complicated dance techniques, such as the robot and the moonwalk.

Time described Jackson's influence as "Star of records, radio, and rock video. A one-man rescue team for the music business. A songwriter who sets the beat for a decade. A dancer with the fanciest feet on the street. A singer who cuts across all boundaries of taste and style and color too". The NYT wrote that, "In the world of pop music, there is Michael Jackson and there is everybody else".

With This Is It', he was punctilious with the dance moves, the sounds and even the lights. It was like the perfectionist is at work. He was cognoscente when it came to music. He knew all his notes, rhythms perfectly. He danced casually as it was born for him, within him. He need not be with dance, the dance needed to be with Michael.

The world has truly lost its greatest hero of all times. A great musician, a great humanitarian, a philanthropist and above all the 'King of Pop'. We love you Michael. You are an immortal legend.

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Tu ani Me

Tu sui me dora,
Tu kaali me gora

Tu poli me bhaat,
Tu football me laath

Tu ball me bat,
Tu undir me cat

Tu mungla me mungli,
Tu saree me lungi

Tu love me prem,
Tu photo me frame

Tu doka me kes,
Tu saban me phes

Tu nisarga me fiza,
Tu kavita "Me Maazha"

Tu ghubad me pankh,
Tu vinchu me dankh

Tu sambaar me dosa,
Tu boxer me thosa

Tu kanik me poli,
Tu aaushad me goli

Tu petrol me car,
Tu daru me bar

Tu dudh me saai,
Tu kes me dye

Tu chaha me lassi,
Tu kumkum me jassi

Tu toop me loni,
Tu dravid me dhoni

Tu barfi me pedha,
Tu bavlat me veda

Tu computer me CD,
Tu cigaratte me bidi

Tu dahi me loni,
Tu kes me pony

Tu computer me mail,
Tu niranjan me tel

Tu tiger me lion,
Tu dadar me sion

Tu takkal me kes,
Tu canteen me mess

Tu kes me konda,
Tu dagad me dhonda

Tu cut me paste,
Tu haste me waste

Tu summer me winter,
Tu Sachin me punter

Tu computer me mouse,
Tu husband me spouse

Tu veet me vasavadatta cement,
Tu code me coding comment

Tu printer me paper,
Tu chips me wafer

Tu dharti me aakash,
Tu jyoti me prakash

Tu nadi me sagar,
Tu paani me ghagar

Tu daru me pinara,
Tu sagar me kinara

Tu vaat me diva,
Tu .NET me JAVA 

Tu chimani me kaavla,
Tu limbu me aavla

Tu Abhishek me Ash,
Tu credit Card me Cash

Tu paper me headLine,
Tu project me deadLine

Tu boundry me sixer,
Tu genuine me fixer

Tu ghevda me bhendi,
Tu bobcut me shendi

Tu Andheri me Dadar,
Tu blanket me chaadar.