I visited the apartment recently (after a long time) and more than feeling felicitous looking at the advancement, I yearned for someone which made me miss my heart beat. That anxiety shock was jeopardizing. Then I reached the railway station and the past days (or may I say years) of companionship glared through my eyes only to be converted into tears. We accompanied each other in trains not so often but it was special and caring. I liked to drop her to her home whenever we met. Facts of life, or may I say bitter facts of life are always harder to digest in the times to come.
You make every effort, however small it may be, to what people say ‘Move On’ and at times you even be successful in it, but at the end you are back to square one. You try almost all the steps to get over it and try to walk ahead in life. Days pass by and you even start feeling comfortable about it, but destiny strikes at the right time and knocks you down at ground zero, bruised, disappointed and utterly depressed.
Returning from office in the shuttle, cool breeze waving through the hair, shiny glowing posters on the highway, reminds me of the invaluable time I spent in the unknown city. It feels warm from inside for a moment and right at the next moment the heart seems to burn ferociously in ache. Why in life does undesirable things take place when there is absolutely no chance of them being fulfilled? But not all the time is life the game you always wanted to play. You plan for certain things, you change the course of most of the ideas and you are all set to go. It is just then when you are swayed off your feet and off the ground so harshly that you don’t even have time to think of what the heck is happening over here. Before you come back to your senses the damage has already been done and there is nothing much left for you to do about it. The point I am trying to say is, memories last, moments die. But time flies by. The hours of the clock which were, once, pleasant become a harsh reality today. You always wish this would be a dreaded dream, a nightmare, only to wake up and know that it is nothing but a reality. The unknown language of the city, the unruly behavior of the people, the unfelt warmth in the breeze, the chilling cold of the night and an awesome sense of belonging and togetherness is what takes me aback today to shed an unnoticed tear.
Many a times, it is better to leave a prospect unanalyzed and unlooked. For it may get you down, break your heart and bring you back to from where you had started the harsh yet real journey of life. They say ‘to lose’ is the part of life. Then why don’t they also say ‘to gain’ is another part of it. I guess, these sayings were invented only to console depressed people.
Time to get strong yet again. Time to learn to stride without the guiding angel. Time to kick nostalgia out of here, not because I don’t admire it, but because it causes more pain than pleasure. It is better to be like a machine with no feelings, only biological cycles and unnerved intelligence which evolves by each passing day.
The memories are green and will always be. The moments are gone, but will remain in the hearts of thee.
