The feel good factor

As humans, we tend to go by feel good factors. If we do something and we feel good about it, its great and we seem to be doing it again and again. But, for instance, we did something and we did not quite like it, then we might try to avoid doing it at a lalter stage of life. Also, the feel good factor is, most of the times according to me, the wrong vibe of doing or not doing a particular thing.
Its just that, we feel good about certain thing/people/place or feeling. Its only that we just "feel". Might not be true in all the cases, might be true even, but this is just a feeling and not a sure-shot reality.
My current status is I am not feeling quite good about anything in life at this stage. So i have grown my beard (yeah, i know its hard to relate to the blog title and the nonsense I am talking here) from past 2 weeks and I really dont care about how i look. I obviously look bad, tired and ill in this image. But I really don't care about it at this moment. And more importantly, if I foresee to the matter of fact of the 'feel-good-factor' alone, come what may, then too I would not be achieving it. Because, even if i do so, I know for sure that I wont be feeling any good. So when I have the assurity that i won't be even coming near to the feel-good-factor feeling, then why am I supposed to do/believe a certain thing.
I know, this is gonna be difficult to even read and (if read) digest coz it hardl makes any sense. But that is what happening to me right now. I am in no condition of making sense. He he ....
F**ked up to the core :-)
Enjoy .....