I have realized that at this age I'm the most uncertain and undecided of things in my life than I ever was. I was never this way. I had planned everything and I always knew what I wanted to do with myself and my life. But now that I am growing up I don't know yet. Feels weird because if anything, I should have known better. But no, I don't know if its midlife crisis or just a phase in life and it kind of scares me at times. I don't know if i should give it sometime and it would settle automatically or what. But I think its high time to figure things and sort them out. I can no more blame it on others or age or situations. I have to take the ownness and do something about it. My confidence seems to be at an all time low. Things which I am good at don't make me happy anymore. I don't love learning new things anymore. And everything combined is taking a toll on me. Stress is at an all time high and I don't know if its valid or not or I am just making a fuss out of it. People I have ever loved love someone else or planning to love someone else and I don't know how and what to do about it. There's a lot of chaos inside the tiny little gray matter and the only thing that is keeping it from exploding is the lesson of ignorance, which I know is bad and a time will come where I will have to find answers to all those hidden questions and more over accept all of them. Life is becoming unusual and unpredictable and I don't know what to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment