Being Departed

My mood today: Extremely sad, depressed and lonely. Feeling very bad and very low for all the obvious reasons.

And when I am in this deep shit, you guys bring back smile to me. It will be 3 years now that we have known each other. And inspite of regular ups and downs in our lives, relations, our friendship has sneaked the peak of so called glory and reached new heights every time.

I got the first blow of it when I was about to leave all of you and head towards Bangalore. It was only me who knew what I was actually going through at that moment. The only feeling of partying ways was something more than suicidal for me. I am a bad digestor of all this stuff. It was like I was being betrayed by the very time. But they say, distance makes us grow fonder. Bangalore was an ultimate lesson of life for me. After 5 prosperous months in Infosys Mysore campus with all the necessities being spoon fed right from friends, Bangalore gave me the necessary setback to understand myself and my life more closely and seriously. I was all alone there which enabled me to think on various aspect deeply and ethically. It is like, when you near death you never lie, you never hate, you only love. And I was in the same trauma of life. Then I knew what friendship meant. Then I knew what family meant. Then I knew what true love meant. When I had nothing with me, I began to treasure everything with utmost care. It was like realizing the value of light when you have just turned blind.

Few weeks prior to leaving for Bangalore, Vaidya was to leave for Hyderabad. And I remember crying the hell out of me just while seeing him going. I do not remember I have ever cried for a guy and that too so much and that too in front of almost 100 people. But this is something I just cannot handle at all. That parting memory is still fresh in my mind as probably a lesson God wanted me to learn so that I can be more considerate.

Days passed, and I got myself transferred to Pune to live my dream life, and yes I did. Thanks to God. Rahul used to wake me up every morning and I felt so lovely about his gentle way of doing that. coz I remember how I was treated while being waked up every morning back at home. He left for UK and it was going to be almost for a year. He had a dampened heart though he tried to hide, but life goes on (these are the 3 words I hate the most in my life ... I fu**kingggggg hate it). He left from office itself and I could not go back to my cubicle. I was still unable to understand and digest the fact that I won’t be seeing him again, atleast for 10 months.

Shree remained neutral on all this, I never knew why. May be it did not matter him that much, or maybe he did not want to reveal it to us. We all made a great team. It was like partners in every crime.

But we had to depart every single time we were united. Days rolled on and I decided to leave Infosys and shift to Mumbai. I knew for myself, what this decision meant for me. I was about to leave what I chose with my heart 2 years back and rather go for a path which my brain wanted me to go for. Believe me, never agree to your brain if your heart has an equally strong decision for you. You will seldom be happy that way. I left Infy, Pune, friends, colleagues and most importantly I probably left my life there to chase the real life here.

Just want to tell you guys, missing you like hell. If I could do anything to be with you all again, believe me, I would go any far to do that. Love you loads. :-(